Rebecca Black

UPDATE: VFoC co-founders Slain in Daring Simultaneous Escape Attempts

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Much of the state of California lays in ruins at this hour after Jason Whitesel and Jesse Jones, Van Full of Candy co-founders escaped police custody in Sacramento and Los Angeles respectively.

In what was thought to be an impossibly short span of time for such a feat, Jason managed to dig a hole through his cell wall with a rock hammer before crawling 500 yards to freedom through the prison’s sewage line. Unfortunately only moments after emerging from the outlet and celebrating with a triumphant arm raised howl of freedom in the metaphorical sin cleansing downpour Jason was brutally mauled to death by a pack of day werewolves in a clear case of mistaken identity.

Meanwhile Jesse was sprung from his cell in spectacular fashion when he summoned his Green Mastodon Megazord with his communicator watch that officials mistakenly failed to confiscate. Armed with his three story tall “Emerald Tusk” Zord, Jesse laid waste to the downtown Los Angeles area before trampling the world famous Hollywood sign and Griffith Observatory. Ultimately members of the Justice Avengers had to be called in to stop him before more innocent landmarks were lost. After the climactic battle on the Santa Monica Pier Jesse’s Zord was fished out of the Pacific Ocean but no body has been recovered as of this report.

… So… April Fools…

Thanks for hanging in there. Hope it was worth it.

Now tell your friends about it and hey, how about watching our video one more time, in memory of those brave souls who were fictionally lost this day?

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UPDATE: VFoC co-founders Arrested in Copyright Dispute

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Hey, so this is the Van Full of Candy intern Jerry. By now you’ve probably heard that Jesse and Jason were arrested just a couple minutes ago for refusing to remove their viral hit “Greatest Stories Ever Written: Friday by Rebecca Black”

(They told me to put the video up again in this update)

Hollywood and Sacramento Police were quick to respond probably because of how the guys chose to respond to the cease and desist they received; both deciding to send a return fax from their individual locations, of their respective scrotums. We’ve been able to attain some pictures of the arrests going down thanks to the newspaper affiliates in each city. We’ve been on the phone with each of them and they seem to be in good spirits and said to keep posting the updates for our ever loyal fans.

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Free the Van 2!

UPDATE: VFoC Ordered to Cease and Desist

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Fan-fucking-tastic. While our new Rebecca Black Spoken Word video —

is busy taking this world and all known adjacent planets by fucking storm, opening doors up for us that we never even expected to see, it apparently has also gotten us attention we didn’t want.

Hot off the Fax full of Bullshit.
Hot off the Fax full of Bullshit.

This just showed up for us. A cease and desist from Rebecca Black’s “People”? I’m not sure if this is supposed to scare us or something, but I find it really hard to believe that this internet celebutwat has any sort of muscle to make us take down our meal ticket. So please, continue to enjoy our new video, tell your friends, share it with as many random strangers as you can, what’s the worst that she can possibly fucking bring?

Viva Van Full of Candy!

UPDATE: VFoC courted by Sub Pop Records and Adam McKay!

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The freight train that IS “VFoC Presents – The Greatest Stories Ever Written: “Friday” by Rebecca Black” is hurtling straight for Opportunityville for your beloved co-founders of Van Full of Candy!

While the video, released just this morning, continues to break view speed records on the YouTubes, we have been fielding calls from Sub Pop Records and Adam McKay of Funny or Die and countless other iconic movie and tv hits offering possible development deals and other opportunities. It’s a hell of a lot to digest but it’s the opportunity we’ve been waiting for.

We’ll keep you updated as these developments development. Keep passing around the link and hang in there if you’re still having problems viewing it. YouTube is telling us that they’re trying to make sure that everyone who wants to see it can, so please be patient!

Kisses!

Van Full of Candy
On a rocketship straight to the big time and we’re taking you with us!

UPDATE: VFoC Video: Rebecca Black Spoken Word goes VIRAL!

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What the huh!? I honestly thought Rebecca Black was played out by now but apparently the interwebs just can’t get enough of this spectacular train wreck. In just the last hour and a half since we posted our new video it’s already gotten an estimated 1,750,000 views! (We’ll explain “estimated”.)

We’ve been in contact with the YouTube big wigs all morning and they tell us that due to the high volume of views and the unyielding, relentless interest that they’ve had to continuously pull the video down and replace it since this flood of activity began, so if you have any trouble viewing it, know that it will be corrected immediately. Of course this also means that it keeps resetting our view total, but that’s fine, what matters is that it’s being seen, a LOT!

Thank you so much for this rabid support and keep telling your friends about it! Let’s see if we can break the YouTubes!

VFoC Video — “Greatest Stories Ever Written: Friday by Rebecca Black”

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Always with our finger just outside the pulse of the American consciousness Van Full of Candy gives to you our celebration of this generation’s newest great story-teller. Rebecca Black’s inspiring song, a celebration of the julian calendar has taken hold of the internet viewing populace not because of its “absurdity” or “amateurish quality both in production and composition” but because it taps into a deeper place in our hearts, a place where we are all just trying to make it to the next of life’s Fridays. Partyin’ partyin.

With that said, Van Full of Candy is proud to present this master work in its original intended form, the spoken word.

Rejoice in its majesty, share it with your friends, share it with your enemies. Each and every soul that this video contacts will thank you, and you’ll thank yourself. Hero.

VFoC Video — "Greatest Stories Ever Written: Friday by Rebecca Black"

Posted on

Always with our finger just outside the pulse of the American consciousness Van Full of Candy gives to you our celebration of this generation’s newest great story-teller. Rebecca Black’s inspiring song, a celebration of the julian calendar has taken hold of the internet viewing populace not because of its “absurdity” or “amateurish quality both in production and composition” but because it taps into a deeper place in our hearts, a place where we are all just trying to make it to the next of life’s Fridays. Partyin’ partyin.

With that said, Van Full of Candy is proud to present this master work in its original intended form, the spoken word.

Rejoice in its majesty, share it with your friends, share it with your enemies. Each and every soul that this video contacts will thank you, and you’ll thank yourself. Hero.