Music Video

The Official VFoC Music Video (Sorta) In The Works!

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Oh god, we’re ruined!

Let me explain…

Tally Hall's new album "Good & Evil", avaliable now!
Tally Hall's new album "Good & Evil", avaliable now!

I’m (Jesse) a huge fan of Tally Hall (going to see them at the Troubadour, August 2nd, let me know if you’ll be there, we can hang, maybe become besties and braid each other’s hair…) a difficult to categorize and describe indy band out of Ann Arbor, Michigan. I found them a couple years ago quite by accident, as almost all good musical finds happen. A couple weeks ago I pre-ordered their new album “Good & Evil” (released yesterday and available on iTunes and at Quack Media. After getting a link in my e-mail to check out the free streaming preview of the new album, I discovered another link, promoting Tally Hall writing and recording your own personal theme song. I was ecstatic, and as such, did not read very clearly the entire sentence. I assumed that all pre-order customers had been selected to receive a customized theme song from my new favorite band.

Well, that was all I needed to hear. I ran out and bought (not rented, BOUGHT) hundreds of thousands of dozens of dollars worth of equipment, the type of equipment somehow didn’t seem to matter. I bought lights, cameras, rototillers, gas ranges, more lights, a retired soviet communications satellite, all to make what in my mind was going to be the single greatest music video in the history of musicalized videography! I realize now that this was probably incredibly dumb and made very little sense, but at the time it somehow sounded like the most rational thing in the world…

After re-reading the web page at the insistence of Jason, I discovered that I had in fact entirely misread almost all of what I thought as the only true fact in the world. In fact we were merely entering into a CONTEST to potentially, maybe possibly win a theme song… Perhaps… In theory…

Now, we can clearly see that this is more of a raffle than much of a contest. It seems we post the information on our twitter and or Facebook feeds, and that is likely meant to be that. But frankly, I’ve sunken several life’s savings into all of this hardware and am somehow three weeks into filming of our multi-dollar music video, despite having just learned of the possibility roughly 18 hours ago… So we figured, we might as well make our love of and adoration for Tally Hall known, hoping to somehow sway the hat that the collective entrant’s names will almost certainly be drawn from. Assuming that a hat can be cajoled, and given my proclivity for believing in things entirely impossible, I don’t see how this could possibly fail.

So check out  “Good & Evil” the new album from Tally Hall and tell ’em Van Full of Candy sent ya! Best case scenario, we end up with the most awesomest theme song that ever awesomed a theme. Worst case, we’ve potentially introduced the incredible sounds of Tally Hall to thousands of new, unsuspecting ears. Either way, worth our time.

An Open Letter To Katy Perry & Kenny G : Last Friday Night

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Don't worry, I'll get those uncomfortable bottoms off of you soon enough!

Dear Super-Hott Katy Perry & That Spiral Permed Douchebag Kenny G.:

I was so fuckin’ pissed quite disappointed today when I finally got to see your new, super perky, bubble-gum 80’s themed music video “Last Friday Night”. Now don’t get me wrong, there was absolutely NOTHING you did personally wrong Katy, I mean, you were so pettable in your little day-glo outfit which made you look like a smokin’-hot bottle of Maybelline Great Lash Mascara, and that headgear, good god yummy potaotes girl! And please understand that I wasn’t disappointed with your ever pleasing tonal qualities with just a little hint of sex-growl at the end of each stanza that makes me feel you’re singing sweet-nothing’s in my ear, and my ear alone. No, none of that. Here’s how you completely crushed my utter soul you bitch hurt my extra brittle feelings today Katy. You chose Kenneth Bruce Gorelick, or better known as his stage name: Kenny G., over me! That dude is done! Time to cut your hair loverboy, sometimes you just have to know when to snip the ponytail and donate it to Locks of Love you selfish sax blower. EFFFFFFF !!!

Did you not see my audition video? I brought the new noise, I brought the cutting-edge-sexy-sounding-sax-sauce, and I slopped it all over your BBQ! Maybe your agent didn’t get it in time? That must be what it is, I just know it, because how could you ever pick a mopped-top-skeleton to blow the brass love instrument, when he isn’t even as close to being as talented as I? Sure, that must be it … there’s no other explanation. God, I just want to smack those braces straight out your head I feel so crushed, but now that I’ve talked it out loud to myself, I’m feeling much better. I mean sure, he’s been around a long time, and yeah he might be somewhat of an icon, and maybe he can blow a note for 45 minutes straight which got him in the Guinness Book of World Records, but he’s definitely no Clarence Clemons who just recently passed, God Rest His Soul … or me for that matter. Didn’t you notice during the filming of the video how “Uncle Kenny” annoyingly blows out the right side of his mouth? Yuck! It’s so nasty! It’s like he’s playing it the way Sherlock Holmes would smoke his pipe, almost like he does it so he can sip his prune juice on the other side, or maybe eat a sandwich without ever having to stop, or like he’s suffered a stroke but just won’t quit … YOU FUCKING WEIRDO KENNY G!!

Anyway Katy, that’s about all I  have to say about this, so when you’re ready to get some serious sax action all up in your business in your next music video, give me a call, check out my audition again because I’m sure there’s plenty of impressive material in there that will make you all soppin’ wet want to cast me. Hope to hear from you soon, and just in case you lost the link to my audition video, here it is … LINK-TO-BAD-ASS-SAX-BOY

I will forever love you, Hope to hear from you soon,