Donation

We’re Having a Bake Sale for Our Very Own XXX Website

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We'd really like to know if you have some pie !!

It’s happened !! It’s FINALLY happened !!! The powers that be who hold dominion over the interwebby names have allowed websites, such as ourselves, to become .XXX websites. How indecently awesome is that ?? Think about it, we wouldn’t be just a run of the mill boring old .COM website anymore, we could be really hot, 9″, go all night, bonafide porn guys in a van … WWW.VANFULLOFCANDY.XXX … Yeah, that has a great ring to it, doesn’t it ??

Make us into PORN !!

Now, when I say “bakesale”, I actually mean, we’re begging for donations to get our porn domain up. Heh, I said “up”. See, to register for a XXX domain, you have to come up with $80 to do so, and well, with all the candy we just bought and gas prices being what they are to fill the van up, we’re just a little short on the scratch to go full blown viagra on ya’lls ass. But quite honestly, begging is something we here at Van Full of Candy don’t really like doing … so … to sweetin’ the donation deal, here’s what we’ll do. For everybody who makes a donation to our pornsite domain bakesale, we’ll make a quick video for you … we’ll include your name and you can give us the idea of what you want to see, and we’ll do it. All it takes is $1.00 !! So if 80 of our loyal fans each donate $1.00, looks like we’ll be busy making 85 gawddamn videos. So how about make our lives easier and donate $20. Thanks !!

We're Having a Bake Sale for Our Very Own XXX Website

Posted on

We'd really like to know if you have some pie !!

It’s happened !! It’s FINALLY happened !!! The powers that be who hold dominion over the interwebby names have allowed websites, such as ourselves, to become .XXX websites. How indecently awesome is that ?? Think about it, we wouldn’t be just a run of the mill boring old .COM website anymore, we could be really hot, 9″, go all night, bonafide porn guys in a van … WWW.VANFULLOFCANDY.XXX … Yeah, that has a great ring to it, doesn’t it ??

Make us into PORN !!

Now, when I say “bakesale”, I actually mean, we’re begging for donations to get our porn domain up. Heh, I said “up”. See, to register for a XXX domain, you have to come up with $80 to do so, and well, with all the candy we just bought and gas prices being what they are to fill the van up, we’re just a little short on the scratch to go full blown viagra on ya’lls ass. But quite honestly, begging is something we here at Van Full of Candy don’t really like doing … so … to sweetin’ the donation deal, here’s what we’ll do. For everybody who makes a donation to our pornsite domain bakesale, we’ll make a quick video for you … we’ll include your name and you can give us the idea of what you want to see, and we’ll do it. All it takes is $1.00 !! So if 80 of our loyal fans each donate $1.00, looks like we’ll be busy making 85 gawddamn videos. So how about make our lives easier and donate $20. Thanks !!

Better Get Your ‘Gaydar’ Fixed !!

Posted on Updated on

A heterosexual black male, a gay white male, and a filthy hillbilly male walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here”. The three men look at each other in confusion, turn to the bartender and say, “Which one of us are you talking to”? And that there my friends lies the question of the day … Who was the bartender talking to?

The answer to this question will have many different answers depending on your own upbringing, beliefs, judgements, and what-not’s. The sad thing about this is that there ARE answers to this question. For some of you the answer is: The Filthy Hillbilly. Look at him, he’s disgusting, he reeks of Hamm’s beer, he’s gonna try and get in a fight with someone in this bar tonight, get him the hell out of here. For others it will be: The Heterosexual Black Male. Look at him, coming in here trying to take our white women away from us, and we all know he’s bound to steal something while he’s here. And then for others it’s: The Gay White Male. Oh lord, look at him with his great fashion sense, his manicured nails, white teeth, tan, and that gawd-awful lisp. Get that flamer out of here, he’s gonna try to hit on me, I just know it.

Good afternoon ... I'd like to donate some blood.

Now this brings up another question: How do you know that he’s gay? I know many men who match the description above, hell, I might even fall into that category. So … am I now … gay? Well according to some people’s ‘Gaydar’, I just might be, which I don’t think is such a bad thing considering, once again, the description above. But what happens when somebody’s ‘Gaydar’ is malfunctioning? What if it’s not as finely tuned as other people’s ‘Gaydars’ and they tell someone that there services aren’t wanted because they … well … they just … “look too gay”?

This happened to Aaron Pace, a 22 year old, heterosexual, black male. He wanted to donate some blood at the Bio-Blood Components donation centre in Chicago where he was turned away for “appearing to be a homosexual” and “looking too gay”. Blood donation centres, including those run by the American Red Cross, do not allow gay men to donate blood because of a 30-year-old federal policy. So, who is a chosen one to determine who is gay and who isn’t? Who’s ‘Gaydar’ can we trust? Has there been new developments in ‘Gaydar’ technology? Well, I think that my ‘Gaydar’ is actually quite good, so I decided I needed to test it out for myself. I looked for a picture of Mr. Aaron Pace on the googleweb and found his picture, and, well Aaron … you do look kinda gay.

The perfectly arched brows and the "lying on the ground" pose gives it away.

Better Get Your 'Gaydar' Fixed !!

Posted on

A heterosexual black male, a gay white male, and a filthy hillbilly male walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here”. The three men look at each other in confusion, turn to the bartender and say, “Which one of us are you talking to”? And that there my friends lies the question of the day … Who was the bartender talking to?

The answer to this question will have many different answers depending on your own upbringing, beliefs, judgements, and what-not’s. The sad thing about this is that there ARE answers to this question. For some of you the answer is: The Filthy Hillbilly. Look at him, he’s disgusting, he reeks of Hamm’s beer, he’s gonna try and get in a fight with someone in this bar tonight, get him the hell out of here. For others it will be: The Heterosexual Black Male. Look at him, coming in here trying to take our white women away from us, and we all know he’s bound to steal something while he’s here. And then for others it’s: The Gay White Male. Oh lord, look at him with his great fashion sense, his manicured nails, white teeth, tan, and that gawd-awful lisp. Get that flamer out of here, he’s gonna try to hit on me, I just know it.

Good afternoon ... I'd like to donate some blood.

Now this brings up another question: How do you know that he’s gay? I know many men who match the description above, hell, I might even fall into that category. So … am I now … gay? Well according to some people’s ‘Gaydar’, I just might be, which I don’t think is such a bad thing considering, once again, the description above. But what happens when somebody’s ‘Gaydar’ is malfunctioning? What if it’s not as finely tuned as other people’s ‘Gaydars’ and they tell someone that there services aren’t wanted because they … well … they just … “look too gay”?

This happened to Aaron Pace, a 22 year old, heterosexual, black male. He wanted to donate some blood at the Bio-Blood Components donation centre in Chicago where he was turned away for “appearing to be a homosexual” and “looking too gay”. Blood donation centres, including those run by the American Red Cross, do not allow gay men to donate blood because of a 30-year-old federal policy. So, who is a chosen one to determine who is gay and who isn’t? Who’s ‘Gaydar’ can we trust? Has there been new developments in ‘Gaydar’ technology? Well, I think that my ‘Gaydar’ is actually quite good, so I decided I needed to test it out for myself. I looked for a picture of Mr. Aaron Pace on the googleweb and found his picture, and, well Aaron … you do look kinda gay.

The perfectly arched brows and the "lying on the ground" pose gives it away.