What if the world of the world wide web were charted by explorers, mapping out all of the scattered, far flung countries and continents of these craggy, depraved darkened corners of this place we’ve come to call “The Internet”? Well, it’d probably look a little something, like this.
I’m not much of a world traveler. In the last several decades I’ve rarely ventured further than a couple hundred miles from home, going as far north as Black Rock City, Nevada and as far south as Tijuana, Mexico. Both for the reasons you might think. But as far as the world of the great digital frontier goes, it appears there isn’t a horizon I haven’t seen, nor a continent that hasn’t felt the weight of my boot.
Amateur graphic artist, Martin Vargic posted his “Map of the Internet 1.0” some time ago to his deviantart page without much notice, until recently when this beautiful, highly detailed representation of the internet as world map, started gaining attention.
“It was my hobby,” the Slovakian student told reporters. “And it still is my hobby, though I am planning to start selling prints of my maps on Amazon quite soon.”
And I’d certainly buy one. I’ve been pouring over it, tracing back my internet roots. Following my journey from the little town of Livejournal in the Land of Forgotten Websites, through Steve Jobs Land and across the Digital Ocean. I still think fondly of the days spent on the CD Rom Peninsula and could run you through the great valleys and chasms of the continent just off the Despicable Sea like it was the back of my hand. Or I suppose, more accurately in this case, the palm of my hand.
I’m still trying to uncover my original digital roots, all the way back to the lost city of Pipeline/Mindspring, and even, if records even still exist, the dark caves of Local BBSes.
People Somehow Surprised That Vagina Mural Painter, Commissioned To Paint Mural, Paints Vagina Mural
Check out this Swedish high school vagina! Wait, no, wait. Not like that. I mean, vagina art. Really vaguely vaginally. A Swedish artist, known for vagina themed art is now having her knowingly vagina themed art, scrutinized by the people who commissioned it. Art, Sweden and vaginas are all confusing.
Sweden isn’t like us. Their furniture is named after the sounds of Vikings vomiting, and whereas our junior highs are often littered in crudely sprayed dong graffiti, Swedish middle schools are covered in happy grinning vulva.
Apparently renowned vadge illustrator, Carolina Falkholt’s latest work, which I have helpfully titled “You Know it’s a Vagina, Come On,” has sparked some controversy in the normally laid back Norse homeland.
Falkholt’s latest piece of allegedly titillating crotch art was targeted for whitewashing by the “municipal head of children, youth and cultural affairs” in Nyköping, because of the potentially inappropriate setting: a busy stairwell in a middle school. Though, given Myorfts (Swedish for “Mrs.”) Falkholt’s penchant for doodling clams, it was a fact probably/hopefully considered when the piece was commissioned by the school last Fall.
Fans of Glutok (“Lady”) Falkholt, and vaginas in general, rushed to her defense on her Facebook page questioning those who might find the mural offensive–a sentiment that I can’t help but agree with. Having never run into a similar vagina in the wild, I’m more upset imagining that someone is just lying to me, telling me that this is actually a vagina and that I might have mistakenly beaten off to a faux gash halfway through this article.
As of this reporting, the mural remains proudly displayed on the walls of the Nyköping school, just waiting to be slathered in a thick, sticky white substance which will forever sully its beauty and purity.