1 Vagina, 2 Vagina, 3 Vagina, 4

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As a guy, when I first heard about this story, my first impression is “fuck yeah, let’s do this!”, but when I didn’t get a return call, I had a lot of time to reflect on the situation. Let’s rewind shall we?

As I stumbled around my living area this morning, I, what my grandparents would say, “turned on the news”. Turning on the news back in day meant walking up to a huge wooden box and pulling a button and waiting 30 seconds for the tube to warm up and an image to appear on the screen. But when I say it, turning on the news means swiping the “slide to unlock” on my little black half pack of cards made of glass and plastic. And that’s a lot of words to have to go through to get to the girl with the double-vagina part of the story. A young Australian woman, Hazel Jones, revealed that she has an extremely rare medical condition, two vaginas.

Now, back to the beginning, as a guy when you hear a story about a woman with a double-va-J-J, you get really close to your computer monitor and hope to see how you can buy tickets to the ride, and you hope that there’s a freaky clip on YouTube somewhere, not because I’m a perv, but because I enjoyed science class as a kid. But then I got to thinking of the logistics of having a 3-sum with one other person, it’s perplexing and stressful all at the same time.

Wait !! Two of them ???
1. Finding the Grafenberg Spot is practically impossible for a mere mortal, but when you’ve got two spots to find on a non-existent map, fogettahboutit, get me a beer and something that makes me feel good about myself.

2. Hand cramps and lockjaw. Look, I’ve got some serious skills but trying to sing all the parts of a barber shop quartet by yourself is like trying to fill the van’s gas tank by farting in it, it’s possible, but it’s gonna take a LONG time. If you wanna make this woman happy, you’ve got to be a concerto pianist and a champion yodeler. Yodelers use their tongue to yodel right?

3. And the final word on the stress of all this, what seems to be awesome situation, pregnancy.

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6 thoughts on “1 Vagina, 2 Vagina, 3 Vagina, 4

    Pamela Hostin said:
    January 22, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    Excellent read. I just passed this onto a friend who was doing a little research on that. He just bought me lunch as I found it for him! So let me rephrase: Thanx for lunch!

    CHRISTOPER KUILAN said:
    February 1, 2012 at 9:21 am

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY Ray!!!

      Van Full of Candy said:
      February 16, 2012 at 10:33 am

      THANK YOU Christoper!!! … Who’s Ray? Am I Ray? I don’t feel like a “Ray”… Now I’m going to have to put on my detective hat and track down the Ray this birthday wish was intended for. My clues: the be-birthdayed individual in question’s name is Ray. His Birthday would SEEM to be February 1st. God I hope this wasn’t a belated birthday wish, then this investigation is fuckered from the get go! … Hang in there Ray! We’ll find you! Keep happying that birthday! We’ll be there soon!

    t rex reptile said:
    February 8, 2012 at 7:01 am

    Fantastic blog! Great!

    ashdown mag said:
    February 15, 2012 at 5:23 am

    Fantastic blog! Great!

      Van Full of Candy said:
      February 16, 2012 at 9:43 am

      Thanks robot, we like to think so! We’re glad it finds the approval of your programming!

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