Pornflix … I Mean … Netflix !!

Posted on

"I should'a listened to those assholes at Van Full of Candy"

You like Netflix? I like Netflix. All I know is that they need a new “genre” in their schtick, and that’s the one that would have kept them from losing 800,000 subscribers. For reals. Remember when you were a kid and you’d go to the movie rental store? In my case it was a furniture rental store that had videos for rent, don’t ask, and there was the Action section, the Family section, the Sci-Fi section and that section in the back, with dim lights and a black velvet curtain or even Old Western style saloon doors with a laminated hot pink printout labeled “18+ Only”, “Adults Only”, “No Kids Allowed”. Yeah … that section. The one that the dirty old men would hang out in and when they walked out, you would look at them in awe and wonder how they’d get their mustache to smell like salmon Marlboro’s. That secret place that you would peak in with virgin eyes and see covers of VHS movies that had baby oil’d body parts of all different sizes and different colors, except for the BIG parts that were a SPECIFIC color, but am I jealous now? Well sure, yeah. But did I get over it? No. So fuck your stupid judgement about my little white boy junk.

Just do it already ... FUCK !!!

I guess what I’m getting at is that Netflix should have the dirty section so I can watch an entire skin-flick without having to hunch over my smartphone for 20 secsonds at a time and watch little bits of dirty’ness with one hand while I mix pancake batter with the other and try to keep my back from tightening up during the whole ordeal. Regardless if it’s daily or not all I want is the naughty place for guys like me … guys like you … hell, girls like you. Oh and for the 800,000 people who decided that Netflix wasn’t for them anymore. Hey Netflix, sex sells, dirty, filthy, hardcore-porn sex sells, so get with the fucking program bitches. For now, I’ll watch Prince of Persia and pretend that some good shit’s about to happen.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s