The Eagle Has Landed … Well … Sorta. Ok, We're Lying

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I go space … I get many medals
Today marks the 50th Anniversary of the first human spaceflight. Supposedly some Russian named Yuri Gagarin was the first human to be launched into space on April 12, 1961. Ever heard of him? Didn’t think so. I think it’s cute how “they” want us to believe that people were actually launched into space in 1961. The Russians barely even had cars that far back and the ones they did have had 23horsepower. So you want us to believe you could put a 5 ton piece of metal in space with a human in it and have that human return safely to the earth? Awwwww, that’s sweet. Now look, I’m not saying I’m anti-Russian, or anti-Spacetravel, or even anti-Cavity for that matter, but let’s be real shall we?
Is good day for space travel, no?
When you see footage of “space travel” from the sixties, it’s pretty eye-opening how far our Hollywood production has come. They should just get rid of all the footage from the past, and redo it and tell us that they’ve enhanced it digitally, put it in HD and burn the fake shit. Don’t believe me? Then take a look at the Russian “video”, it’s eight minutes, so get a cold one and relax.
Hey guys, can I please take 15? I’ve gotta piss like a racehorse.

Since we’re on the topic of bullshit space travel, lets not forget the ol’ U S of A’s attempt to trick us as well. Apparently we landed on the moon, put a flag up there, bounced around and played golf on July 20, 1969. Now if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge for sale in … ummm … crap, I forgot the joke, but you know what I mean. So my question is, being that we’ve advanced our technology so far in the last 40+ years, then why in the world are we not going back to the moon? I mean shouldn’t we clean up the mess that we left there? Shouldn’t we go back and at least “prove” to the world that we were actually there? Shit, we got there in the 60’s, we should be able to take a plane there these days and hangout for the weekend. I smell something fishy, and it’s not the hooker in the back of the van.

Leave us a comment, tell us if you believe US or THEM.

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