Go Ahead, Touch My Snake

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iPhone Neck Holder

Well hello, I … didn’t see you standing there. I was just enjoying the latest episode of Survivor, hands-free. Wait, I can’t hear you, let me take these ‘Beats’ by Dr. Dre headphones off. Hi. Oh this? Yeah, isn’t it great? It’s called a Vyne, but I like to call it Python.  No don’t be afraid of it, it’s not real. Haha yeah I know … it IS scary. So, you like snakes? Nevermind.

The thing I like best about this cool little jimmy-thang, besides the obvious conversation-starting-lady-magnetism, is that when I’m sporting it, I have an actual “personal-space-creator”, yeah I know right? And it’s a great back-scratcher. Oh wait, check this trick out … when I gyrate my neck, whoa yeah, oh look out, it’s like a reptilian hula-hoop. And if I ever drop my keys down a storm drain, I’m totally set.  Hmm, maybe I’ll try that today just to make sure.

So, you want a ride?  You can straddle it right here, facing me is best, and I’ll just carry you wherever you … No?  Ok, no problem.  Where you going?  Hey wait, look, my download of The Bachelor just completed.  You could come stand next to me and watch it … I’ll share my headphones.


Well hello, I … didn’t see you standing there.


4 thoughts on “Go Ahead, Touch My Snake

    Strange Tributes said:
    January 8, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    haha ridiculous

      Van Full of Candy responded:
      January 10, 2011 at 6:06 pm

      That’s what we’re going for … thanks for the comment!!

    Greatest valet alive said:
    November 29, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    Are these really for sale? Are you able to bend it so the iPhone is higher up so you not looking down?

      Van Full of Candy responded:
      November 30, 2011 at 9:12 am

      We here at Van Full of Candy strive to give our readers and megafans the highest level of customer service possible. So you know what I did for you Greatest Valet Alive? You know what I did? I sent a letter directly to the good people of Vyne in search of an answer to your question. Once I receive word, I will definitely get that answer not only to you, but to the WORLD … I will exploit the living crud out of it because I am so desperate for interaction with people. So thank you, thank you for your question. I love you.

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